Self Love Sunday : "7-things-to-remember-when-you-think-you're-not-good-enough"

The people you compare yourself to compare themselves to other peole too.

Don't compare their "highlights reel" to your "behind the scenes" .

#nobodysperfect
#selflove ♡
#thoughtsofaninsomniac

-----
^^ My latest status update^^
4am early Monday morning,
 or as I vew it's still my Sunday night... I still haven't fallen asleep for the night.
At all.
insomniacs...you hear me... unite ♡
The first part, I got from the wisely inspiring TinyBuddha.com article ...


"7-things-to-remember-when-you-think-you're-not-good-enough"

where Madison Sonnier goes on to explain...


“ 'We can’t hate ourselves into a version of ourselves we can love.' ~Lori Deschene

Sometimes I am really terrible to myself and relentlessly compare myself to other people, no matter how many times I read or hear about how good enough or lovable I am.

On an almost daily basis, I meticulously look for evidence that I am a nobody, that I don’t deserve to be loved, or that I’m not living up to my full potential.

There is generally a lot of pressure to “stack up” in our culture. We feel as if there is something wrong with us if, for example, we’re still single by a certain age, don’t make a certain amount of income, don’t have a large social circle, or don’t look and act a certain way in the presence of others. The list could truly go on forever.

Sometimes in the midst of all the pressure, I seem to totally forget all the wonderful, unique things about myself.

I get stuck in my head and allow my inner critic to completely tear apart my self-esteem until I hate myself too much to do anything except eat ice cream, watch daytime television, and sleep.

The other day, while I was beating myself up over something I can’t even recall at the moment, I read a comment from one of my blog readers telling me that one of my posts literally got them through the night. Literally. And if that one simple word was used in the intended context, this person was basically telling me that one of my posts saved their life.

I get comments like these on a pretty regular basis, and they always open my eyes to just how much I matter, regardless of my inner critic’s vehement objections.

Such comments also open my eyes to all the things we beat ourselves up over that don’t matter—like whether or not we look like a Victoria’s Secret model in our bathing suit, or whether or not we should stop smiling if we’re not whitening our teeth, or whether or not the hole in our lucky shirt is worth bursting into tears over.

Lately I’ve been trying harder to catch myself when I feel a non-serving, self-depreciating thought coming on. And I may let these thoughts slip at times, but that’s okay because I’m only human.

While my self-love journey is on-going, here are a few things I try to remember when I’m tempted to be mean to myself:

1. The people you compare yourself to compare themselves to other people too.

We all compare ourselves to other people, and I can assure you that the people who seem to have it all do not.

When you look at other people through a lens of compassion and understanding rather than judgment and jealousy, you are better able to see them for what they are—human beings. They are beautifully imperfect human beings going through the same universal challenges that we all go through.  

2. Your mind can be a very convincing liar.

I saw a quote once that said, “Don’t believe everything you think.” That quote completely altered the way I react when a cruel or discouraging thought goes through my mind. Thoughts are just thoughts, and it’s unhealthy and exhausting to give so much power to the negative ones.    

3. There is more right with you than wrong with you.

This powerful reminder is inspired by one of my favorite quotes from Jon Kabat-Zinn: “Until you stop breathing, there’s more right with you than wrong with you.”

As someone who sometimes tends to zoom in on all my perceived flaws, it helps to remember that there are lots of things I like about myself too—like the fact that I’m alive and breathing and able to pave new paths whenever I choose.

4. You need love the most when you feel you deserve it the least.

This was a recent epiphany of mine, although I’m sure it’s been said many times before.

I find that it is most difficult to accept love and understanding from others when I’m in a state of anger, shame, anxiety, or depression. But adopting the above truth really shifted my perspective and made me realize that love is actually the greatest gift I can receive during such times.

5. You have to fully accept and make peace with the “now” before you can reach and feel satisfied with the “later.”

One thing I’ve learned about making changes and reaching for the next rung on the ladder is that you cannot fully feel satisfied with where you’re going until you can accept, acknowledge, and appreciate where you are.

Embrace and make peace with where you are, and your journey toward something new will feel much more peaceful, rewarding, and satisfying.

6. Focus on progress rather than perfection and on how far you’ve come rather than on how far you have left to go.

One of the biggest causes of self-loathing is the hell-bent need to “get it right.” We strive for perfection and success, and when we fall short, we feel less than and worthless. What we don’t seem to realize is that striving for success and being willing to put ourselves out there is an accomplishment within itself, regardless of how many times we fail.

Instead of berating yourself for messing up and stumbling backward, give yourself a pat on the back for trying, making progress, and coming as far as you have.    

7. You can’t hate your way into loving yourself.

Telling yourself what a failure you are won’t make you any more successful. Telling yourself you’re not living up to your full potential won’t help you reach a higher potential. Telling yourself you’re worthless and unlovable won’t make you feel any more worthy or lovable.

I know it sounds almost annoyingly simple, but the only way to achieve self-love is to love yourself—regardless of who you are and where you stand and even if you know you want to change.

You are enough just as you are. And self-love will be a little bit easier every time you remind yourself of that."

-xoxo
Be well dearies ♥

Caught in the Horrible Clutches of Insomnia's 4am Tight Grasp

"Hello there,

the angel from my nightmare..

Where are you and I'm so sorry

I cannot sleep I cnnot dream tonight

I need somebody and always

This sick strange darkness 

Comes creeping on so haunting every time

Will you come home and stop this pain tonight

Stop this pain tonight"

[I Miss You -Blink182)

Tonight is a fierce sstruggle for health, healing & relief from a painful, debilitating chronic disease...And a totally separate issue of heatbreaking loss..

We need help and loving prayers for forgiveness & ability for self-forgiveness,

((I am far too hard on myself))

.....any thoughts/prayers at all are incredibly appreciated... need severe healing... feeling

For health, healing & reliefe from a painful, debilitating chronic disease...
For forgiveness & ability for self-forgiveness,< I am far too hard on myself>
.....any thoughts/prayers at all are incredibly appreciated... need severe healing... feeling incredible lonliness & despair from this life-altering crisis that feeds my insomnia & cinstant flow of streaming tears...
it's dark times...
Dark dark days & nights, there is no escaping it :(
 I'm out of answers, out of solutions...

And Lord, I ask if you could please keep my husband safe tomorrow and always as he flies his passengers around our nation & back home to the safety of his loving wife's embrace...

Tonight is a difficult one...
To say the least.
...and tragically, I can feel it won't be the last...

Desperate for some comfort tonight...
Desperate for some answered prayers for direction for our lives... existentially wondering what I am to do with my life, where should I be, and doing what for the most happiness possible...

And to keep our marriage unbreakably strong, an unstopable team ♡

Please help guide us, forgive us for our sins, and help us to forgive those who tresspass against us & cause us great emotional damage and pain, when it hurts our hearts so much we think it couldn't possibly crush us anymore, help us to release our stubborn hands from gripping our white knuckled metaphorical fists & seek comfort in turning to you, God...
Please help, please someone, anyone, have us in their prayers tonight... we're reaching a depressing level of desperation & excruciating despair...help.

*sigh*

:'(

Love always,
xoxo LadyPeters

Post Your Truths. No Judging. Stop Comparing Your "Behind-the-Scenes" With Everyone's Perfected & Edited "Highlights Reel"

Post Your Truths. No Judging. Stop Comparing Your "Behind-the-Scenes" With Everyone's Perfected & Edited "Highlights Reel" ... carefully edited to show they're perfect life is perfectly perfect, "oh come and see how well I am doing"... where are the real truths to whatups & downs we eexperience as learning, growing, struggling humans?Insomnia...
And so...
This is me.
This is my life.
Life is not easy.
These are my unedited truths.
Truthfully, I am not coping well with my other half being ripped from my side to go to fly his plane for 4 days straight.
Sleeping alone in this new & foreign apartment, is not comforting.

So many huge life altering changes this year that seem will never become any less horrible, or manageable...
Waiting for the "time heals all wounds" to kick in any day now..

 Past 5am and not a wink of sleep yet.
I don't know how much more I can take.
I know this is the lifestyle we chose and we "knew what we were getting into" but it doesn't hurt any less to have the love of your life, flying all across the country so other people can see their families, while I'm stuck in this city that still seems new and alienating to us... I'm trying to survive the most difficult time in my life, and not very functional solo on even the most basic of tasks.
I need my husband.
I don't care if that doesn't sound like something of perfection from an independent woman's timeline on a social media that people treat as only supposed to show & share their "highlights reel" edited version of their life... always perfectly happy perfectness is bullpoopie.

This is me.
This is my life.
Life is not easy.

Never judge when you don't know the battle, hurt, & suffering going on within a soul you "claim" as a friend.

Life ebbs & flows, twisting, changing...
That's the truth, and I will post my truths, sensor free, no illusions, this is.me.
Raw. Real. Me.
You can handle it.
We are all adults here.

Up Nort Cabin Inner Dialog. .. Like waaaay "Up-North"

There's an eerie stillness this far North,
densely quiet,
the only sound is of my own footsteps, crunching through the fallen leaves.. Tromping through the dead foliage, vibrantly vivid ...
finally arriving
at the cabin,
finally here,
finally.
away from the city & the life we've temporary abandoned..
an escape from it all.
Or is it?
Can you really ever run far enough?
Because wherever you go,
There
You'll
Be..


♡

Charity Miles with TeamRWB! #MoveForVeterans!

Today marks the first day of the 60 day #MoveForVeterans challenge, with #CharityMiles, hosted by TeamRWB.

For each mile logged #BenGay will donate & each step brings us closer to reaching our donation goal of $65,000!

Get Moving: Walk or Run and they donate 25 cents per mile! Earn rewards & prizes for different levels reached!

Mission: virtually transfer #OldGlory across the country once a day, every day for the 60 days of the #OldGloryCoasttoCoastRelay!

It's time to come together as one big team and #RunWithGlory!!Join in for free, get your body movin' & help support #TeamRWB in #EnrichingVeteransLives!

We need at least 3,800 people to log in at minimum 1 mile per day, pop over to
download the app right meow!

#Veterans #TeamRedWhiteandBlue #America #neverforget #remember911 #usa

Xoxo, LadyPeters♡

UPDATE/EDIT: More pics from our daily challenge:

Letters Part 1

Dear every-inanimate-object-currently-occupying-space-in-my-living-quarters,

You seriously need to get up and hop neatly into the nearest cardboard moving box,
you know,
at your earliest conveinece...
No rush or anything,
it's not like we're moving in a few days or anything............
Seriously, I'm tired of picking each of you up and putting you delicately in neatly packed box, only to remove you shortly after, but in our new space, in our new home...

If you don't wish to be left behind, I highly suggest you get-to-steppin' and choose one of the several available boxes to make your temporary residence, until we arrive at the new place.
You all just sit there, smugly, taunting me, increasing the sinking realization that moving day is loomingly creeping closer, and almost upon us...
aaand I have to box you up, only to unbox your butts shortly after, but in our new surroundings.

This whole moving process is stressful enough...apparently 2nd most stressful to mourning death...
There is so much heavy anxiety ominously weighin down on this whole idea and actual process of moving house, I can barely stand it... everything has changed... it's incredibly daunting to have to even think about how soon we will be living in a strange new building, with new unknown people around us, unknown personalities, in a whole new neighborhood, with unknown sounds, smells, and God knows what else we will have to adjust to...

It's terrifying, and is going to send us to the poorhouse.

I didn't choose the Pleb Life, 
the Pleb life chose me.

Frankly, you're all pissing me off, objects-that-I-apparently-deemed-necessary-at-one-point-or-another-but-now-seem-materialistically-obnoxious-and-makes-me-question-how-many-of-you-are-truly-a-necessity-and-which-of-you-will-be-excommunicated-from-our-new-home.

Yup, you heard me.

Some of you simply will not be making the cut.

Some of you will successfully transition with us into our completely gutted & renovated home, ensuring that we are the first humans to live in the new space, but need I remind y'alls it will be with just some of you, but not all of you.
Some of you will be sold, or simply donated and given to a new home.

Don't take our interpretation of your sudden uselessness to us, we have been brainwashed into believing we "need" all of you and more of your kind is : more stuffz=moar happinessez.
'MURICA!

So yeah, objects... Ship up, or ship out.

Get yourselves packed up in your favorite empty box, awaiting to be filled with your useful selves, or GTFO, because I am sick & tired of having to pick you up again & again and transport you.

Get it together, in a neat and orderly fashion, or cease to exist in our company any further, you bunch of freeloaders....
Jeesh.

....aaaand it's 4:15am & I'm writing to inanimate objects.
Yeah.
Moving sucks.

TTFN TTYL H.A.G.S LYL OMGWTFBBQ MAI ROFLCOPTER GOES SOI SOI SOI
xoxo,
Your mom.

{omg this insomnia is making me delirious}

A Message to the Depressed

Beautifully said...😥brought heartbreaking tears to my eyes 💔

"A Message To the Depressed" please watch.

{{Depression is frightening, but you're never alone.}}

"If I could go back and have one more conversation with him before he did it, this is what I would say:

 'I'm not a miracle worker and I can't promise you much...

what I can do is 

I can wait right here with you, 

until you're ready. 

We can talk all day or I can just sit here and be silent...

We can do whatever you want as long as you know

that when we leave this room

and we re-enter the world,

we're going to do it together,

and I'm not going anywhere.

It doesn't matter what we're doing,

but throughout the duration of you feeling this way,

I'm going to be right here until you feel better..

and when you're ready,

You & I will re-enter the world together, 

Ok?

Just before you do anything, you let me know.' "

http://9gag.tv/p/aVEJPl/a-message-to-the-depressed-please-watch-it-sky-williams-robin-williams

So much truth :'( 

Heartbroken over Robin Williams, and his surviving family :( 

Depression does not discriminate... 

Rest in peace, you were a great man.

It's like a drug. And I'm having withdrawls...I♥the feeling of being free & the passionate adrenaline racing thru me as we curve skillfully thru the twisties together.. #moto #withdrawls

I kenz haz my [motor] bike? I kenz haz A Bike?? :'(
I'm dying over here with anticipation...

But kidding aside, seriously I want to cry right now :( last [motorcycle riding] season seems like forever ago...
I can't wait to get back out on the road soaring with only 2 wheels underneath me...
yeah, I ride passenger with my male bff, people think that's lame or "not a reall rider" whatever, I do NOT care, everyone had to start somewhere and that totally fine with me for right now, I love riding together, it's something we both are passionate about and can go places together... or not go anywhere in particular at all... it's literally all about experiencing the journey, not just arriving at the destination....
I love it... and now I'm just freaking out...I wish I could ride all day everyday, but I can't... my reality is that it is beyond feasible... I can't get my own bike yet, or full gear, for a multitude of heart crushingly the-real-world-is-effed-up reasons...
so I'm riding 2up, and I get so much unexplainable joy from riding with him...but I will be at the mercy of only whenever he feels slightly in the mood to actually take me with. :'( :( :(

I absolutely love the feeling of being free, and feeling the adrenaline passionately racing through me as we curve skillfully through the twisties together....

it's like a drug,
and I'm having withdrawls.
I am losing my mind,.and he'll never understand. I need some road-therapy like never before. I've tried to be honest and explain it....
It's giving me insane anxiety not to be out riding...
I have serious passion for it...and I just want to be out there...NOW!

I wish I could make him understand, I wish...for so much...I can'even sleep because of it...
And here I lie at almost 4:30a... :'(

#ridiculousinsomnia #idkwhattodo #someday #maybe #hopefully #hellneverunderstand #heartbreaking #ineedtoride #girlsridetoo #ineedthis #kawsaki #ninja #throwback #nostalgic #iwishicouldmakehimunderstand #ridetherapy #clearsthemind #girlswhoride #oldpic #backintheday #iwasblonde #dowant #pleaseunderstand #itssickening #passion #drive #imfreakingout

You can find me on your TV again :) Now on ABC's new show "Mind Games" starring Christian Slater & Steve Zahn!

My first scene EVER captured on film for national television! 

Recently aired on ABC's new show #MindGames! Episode 102, approx 26min in :) if you actually watch this scene, you can see my newbie self acting as we watched a guy go crashing through a tower of champagne glasses! Authentic reactions because he ACTUALLY crashed through the table... it was messy & intense! 

We filmed this back in like the first week of September last year! You can watch this episode and the next few and see my face acting for the first few times ever captured on film... 

The next scene I shot for this show had a few of us girls stuck in the ladies room with Christian Slater as a trolley full of set equipment was strolling by, lol "so this is how it's going to go down, ladies" he turns to us and says jokingly...
 The few of us blushed and giggled and had a brief fan-girl moment :-P 

I got my TV ready hairstyle look for this scene by doing what I basically do like every night! Psst... I even have my hair twisty up right now as I lie in bed, so my hair is all ready tomorrow in just a few seconds! Click here for the tutorial on my YouTube channel : YouTube.com/LadyPetersa !

Quick Easy Hairstyle: No Heat Curls! *HD*

If you try this or any of my other hairstyle looks,  don't forget to instagram/tweet me your photos using the hashtag #LadyPetersHair I would love to see 'em!
:)
If the video doesn't show above, click HERE to be taken to it on YouTube. :)

(Note:I don't do any talking or voice-overs in this one *deaf-friendly, my friends!* so if you are listening to it, and personally don't like the music, just mute it, listen to your own jams instead of thumbsing it down just because you didn't like the music. Thank you.)

Hi Dolls!
I basically do this super simple hairstyle everyday (Yup, it's true, literally did this last night/this morning)!  I get asked all the time how I create this look, so I thought I'd film it to teach you how easy it is to have a wavy curl using no damaging heat at all!  You can change the tightness of the wave depending on how tight you make your twist. 

For even tighter waves, you could do a set of two twists, one on each side of your head...
... so you'd have "two tails" and then the next morning, you could have even tighter "kinkier" kinks for curly waves!  
Like these 2 pictures:

I am always searching for new ways to "prep" my hair the night before so the next morning I can spend as little time, energy or heated tools on my hair as possible to keep my mane as healthy as it can be, and cut my get-ready-in-the-morning time down as much as possible!  Who couldn't use more free time?!

HAIR PRODUCTS USED:
-I just used a product with some hold, after my morning shower, I used the Aveda : "be curly™" Line, including the style-prep™ & be curly™ curl enhancer,
 (EDIT: I no longer use ingredients with harsh sulfates or silicones, I opt for the much better  SHEA MOISTURE brand and their extensive line of hair care products.  Available at drugstores, Targets, etc...)
but anything you put in wet hair after your shower with some goood hold will do, then later that night before bed, wet it, twist it like in the video, and then hairspray it with your favorite hairspray :)

I haven't seen anyone else do this, I kinda just came up with it when I was sick of french braiding with 3 strands, I was tired off that "too tight kinky" look, so I was like..."duuuhh Ashley.... try a twist with just 2 strands!"

And voilà! Thats how I created this look! 

Hope you enjoy the video!
If you try this or any of my other hairstyle looks, instagram/tweet me your photos using the hashtag #LadyPetersHair
:)

Hope you enjoy the video!

Thanks for stopping by!

Don't forget to "like" if you enjoyed this video
& click subscribe for more videos! :)

XOXO,
Lady Peters

Edit: I am still using this technique, years later, and have become a hair model (with ever-changing rainbow locks! Youtube video on how I got my first epic rainbow: here) who invests a lot of time and energy into the study of Trichology, hair care and using the best ingredients for only the healthiest hair! Below are some more updated pictures, all with curly hair from different tightness variations of this technique! I still do it almost every single night before bed! 

Other places you can find & follow me:
Twitter: @LadyPetersa
Instagram: @LadyPeters
YouTube:youtube.com/LadyPetersa
Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/LadyPetersa/
Tumblr: http://ladypeters.tumblr.com/

Oh and one last thing...I was not asked or paid to boast about any of these products, it's just what I like...my opinion...

No copyright infringement intended.

*New Hair* OMG I am Passionately in Love With My Red - Blonde Ombre

I did it!!!

I have been wanting this with a fiery passion lately, and I absolutely DID IT!
I was sifting through hundreds of bright red photos on Google image search, and on Pinterest, and even created myself a new board JUST for this new look, you can find that here (click that... go ahead.. get some inspiration...)

So without further delay, here are some photos of my new look! What do you think?!

(sidebar: I will posted a YouTube tutorial on my channel for how I got the easy no-heat waves in my "before" picture.. I seriously do it like everyday!)

 AHHHH! I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT, GUYS!

Many thanks to Marie (click the link to see her fan page) from the Aveda I went to! I am absolutely, totally in looove with my new look, I freaking LOVE this new Bright Red Blonde Ombre look, and we didn't have to lift or tone the blonde I already had at all, just had to deposit the bright red color, so it wasn't as horribly damaging as I thought it could possibly be!  I am huge on keepin my hair exposed to minimal damage.. ie I rarely.. RARELY blow dry or use any heat products on my hair.. I only wash it ever 4-7 days so my natural oils keep my hair healthy, healthy healthy! Because I am growing my hair out EVEN LONGER!  It has taken me about 2.5 years (OMG) to get back to the length I had before my wedding, because after the wedding I did the infamous "Wife Chop" and donated 11"+ for Locks of Love!  Crazy!  My hair grows roughly about 1/2" a month, which I think is roughly normal?  But with getting trims too, it's still taken me awhile... but by keeping the heat and damage to a minimum before, helped me get all that length back, and shiny!

If you are interested in a similar look, and in the Chicago area, I would happily refer you to Marie!  She is super stellar, and if you wander over to her on your own, tell her I sent ya!

Let me know what you think, Dolls :) 

Do you like the blonde ombre before, or this new red blonde ombre ? 

Thanks for stopping by! :)
XOXO Lady Peters

Other places you can find & follow me:
Twitter: @LadyPetersa
Instagram: @LadyPeters
YouTube:youtube.com/LadyPetersa
Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/LadyPetersa/
Tumblr: http://ladypeters.tumblr.com/